As we age, our thoughts often drift to hopesÂ of leaving the Earth a better place than we have found itâ€”wistful dreamsÂ of establishingÂ a legacy that cements our place in the masonry of history. Most find ourselves flitting through life seeking that purpose, searching for a grand reason. Few of us stumble upon the roots of that glorious edifice awaiting our illustrious direction. Today I unearthed that seed, I experienced a brief glimpse of my lasting legacy. I coined the term “fecollate.”
Fecollate | fee-koh-leyt | verb [ no obj. ] expel large unsavory quantities of feces from the body. similar to defecate, but more disgusting. predominately used as a tasteful way of describing a most distasteful excretion of solids and fluids.
fecollation Â Â | fee-koh-ley-shen |Â noun
fecollator Â Â Â | fee-koh-ley-tor |Â noun
fecollatory Â Â | fee-koh-ley-tory |Â adj.
early 21st century, a neologism created to pompously describe the excretions of an elephant upon a fornicating couple used as an example whileÂ discussing the merits of censorship. No other term carried the appropriate gravitas.
Donald Trump spat out his thoughts and verbally fecollated upon the audience.
My destiny has been discovered. I must assure that this most useful and delicate of terms become an integralÂ part of theÂ lexicon. It must find its way into the dictionary alongside otherÂ mellifluousÂ neologisms suchÂ as “bling-bling”, “cray”, “selfie”, and “YOLO.”Â This is to be my indelible mark on history. Thus, I turn to you all. Become a part of history. Weave your fecollations into conversations, become a purveyor of fecollate. The Earth will thank you.