Tag Archives: odd

The Return

Leaving the WCT — June 2010 from Fourchinnigan on Vimeo.

After completing the West Coast Trail, I spent a couple of days relaxing in Victoria. The weather was perfect. Then, I caught the ferry back to Vancouver where I shared a dingy hostel room with a very interesting Canadian from the East Coast. He had taken a Greyhound across country and been kicked off for fighting. His bags never made it to his destination. He, too, had stories of East Hastings Street, but despite his feigned distaste, it was clear he was intrigued by the place. Within the few hours we shared the room, he got sloppy drunk, snorted Oxycontin, begged me for a pair of socks,  disappeared to go hire a prostitute, and collapsed on the bed after 3:00 A.M. His plan was to look for a job "first thing in the morning." Somehow, I don’t think he made it. Shortly afterwards, I walked a block to the bus station. As the Sun rose, Greyhound drove me to Seattle. I slept more soundly on the bus than in the hostel. The final 36 hours were spent on an Amtrak train riding the Coast Starlight route back to Los Angeles. It was an interesting experience also punctuated with the rap stylings of a soused Canadian.

Pater Familias

Today Erika (my girlfriend-age 23) and I took her niece and nephew (ages 9 & 11) swimming at a public pool in Eagle Rock. On our way out, we crossed paths with a jovial drunken man—he assured us he was no longer a homeless man because he now lived in a mansion provided by Section 8. He wished me a happy father’s day as he waved his nearly empty 40oz. He then told me to have a good day and he hoped I’d get everything I wanted. He punctuated this statement, “But you already got everything: your wife and kids.”

I didn’t dare shatter his misconstrued fantasy, but gave him his dap and drove home with “my family”.

Surreal Scandal

Today, JPOP teen girlie group Scandal was in the office. The band consists of four teen girls (although I think there may have been more than that in the office). They were dressed in Japanese School uniforms and accompanied by a videographer and a man I imagine must be their manager. Marco was showing them around the office and brought them to Media to view some music videos we have been working on. Rui, who is generally a shy otaku type, leapt into action. He was very eager to translate, explain our work procedures, and show examples. Multiple cute giggly school girls in uniform ignited his inner socialite. For me, the moment went from odd to surreal when they prepared to leave and turned to thank me. My desk is in a corner. I was surrounded by a wall of smiling exuberant school girls each staring me in the eye. In unison, they thanked me in Japanese and bowed. It was a moment from a perverse horror movie where a hackneyed male fantasy prepares to suddenly become a grotesque evisceration. Luckily, they left me intact and trotted off to their next destination.

License Plate Frame of the Day

“Life is awesome
when you are radically saved”

True dat, sista. One of my greatest joys in life is eschewing the works of philosophers, theologians and scientists.
I don’t need them. I can get all my wisdom delivered in 10 words or less by license plate frames and bumper stickers.
I’m busy, people. I don’t have time for wordy enlightenment.

On a side note:
Today’s office excitement

On a side side note:
Milady’s new laboratory


Who says SPAM is annoying?
Check out this gem I received today from Be A Man.
The Subject: Stop being embarassed

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Michael — 41, Male, Hong Kong
I always dreamt of shooting like a porn star and I
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Fecal Vision

Someone left a lovely gift in the center stall of the Men’s room at the office today. It was a smallish sausage-shaped turd. The most disturbing part was that it was reddish in areas (perhaps robofish red) leading me to believe said person had a bloody expulsion. Whether this happened during stall entry or exit still remains unclear. I have a forensics team studying the positioning of the feces as we speak. I will also be sneaking DNA samples from all men in the office (and maintenance personnel–I’ve noticed a definite increase in these sorts of discoveries ever since they have become more prominent on our floor).

This serendipitous encounter had me thinking about the qualms of the blind. Public restrooms must be horrifying. Being unable to visually inspect the toilet surface, the bowl contents, spy potential floor mines and gauge occupancy are a nightmare I hope to never experience.

Good day.

It’s your Civic Duty, son.

One of the greatest feelings in life is waking up early in the morning and realizing you don’t have to get up for work or school so you can go back to sleep. For as long as you want. I discovered a situation that brings a similar satisfaction today. When I picked up my mail, there were two envelopes. A bank statement, and (shit!) a Jury Summons. For a moment I was upset, I had Jury Duty less than a year ago. I’m not supposed to get it more than once a year! Then, a wonderful feeling passed through my body—elation. The envelope was addressed to the prior tenant. I don’t have Jury Duty!

For now.

Later in my apartment I came across something strange. As I was collapsing on to my bed as I frequently do—sitting or easing into bed is boring—I felt a hard substance in an old pillow I was awarded by my ex-girlfriend. Since I recently purchased two quality pillows (living the high-life) and I am a very curious person, I cut open the pillow. Inside was a pair of headphones. I thought maybe the pillow was set up this way so one could plug a cord into it and hear music, but there was no plug. Either it had been ripped off or that wasn’t the case. If I was paranoid, I would concoct a ridiculous story about how the government is magically using cheap headphones to monitor my activity. I’m not and they are not.

Perhaps they should be.

Damn Suburban Terrors

Sometimes, we see things that seem more interesting than they probably are. In the best cases, we never learn the real story. Today, I saw something that fits in that category.

On the way home from work, I passed a Police car parked on Los Feliz. An officer was sitting in the driver’s seat watching his partner in the adjoining yard. The cop was intently staring down a squirrel a few feet away. The squirrel would slowly inch across the yard towards the next while the cop followed his actions with his head. It was as if the Police had been summoned to evict this trespassing troublemaker squirrel from some Suburban Innocents yard. Perhaps he was a drug-dealer or the occupant had a restraining order against this stalker rodent. The law aint screwing around any more. No one left behind!